To "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"
Put me onto Survivor --Put me into the Game!
Make me eat bugs, give me hardships too!
I'll do whatever you want me to do
For I'm always up for adventure;
If I don't win it's a shame!
And I'm fun, Hon! I am the one
For Survivor fame!
To "Maria"
SURVIVOR! You've got to put me on Survivor!
And suddenly the game will never be the same again!
SURVIVOR! There's no one like me for Survivor!
I've got a strategy, and heroes you will be again! (You'll be heroes if you put me on - )
SURVIVOR! Play it bold, 'cause the game's not done yet!
Sing it soft - It's a sacred secret!
SURVIVOR! I'll never stop singing - I'll never stop living - I'll never stop loving -
I'll never stop thinking - I just want to be A SURVIVOR!
To "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"
You know Richard and Rupert and Colby and Tina,
Heidi and Hunter and Jenna and Deena-
But do you recall the greatest Survivor of all?
Wanda the Great Survivor had a lost of guts and wit
And if you really knew her you would surely say, "She's IT!" (She's the Best One!)
All of the other tribemates shrugged their heads and said "She's old."
They never thought that Wanda'd walk away with all the gold!
Then one rainy challenge day, Jeff Probst came to say,
"Wanda with your brains and skills, Lead your tribe up all those hills!"
Then how her tribemates loved her, and they shouted out with glee,
"Wanda the Great Survivor, You'll go down in history!"
Parody of "Big John"
Every weekend at the trail-head you can see me arrive:
I stand five foot three and weigh one-thirty-five;
Kinda broad in my outlook, and always lots of fun,
But when there's work to do, I can't be outdone!
I can climb high mountains, and eat meager food,
And when things look bleak I'm still in a good mood!
I'm a Pennsylvania hiker, and fully alive -
I'll Outwit, Outlast, Outplay and Survive.
To the tune of “supercalifragilistic-expialidocious!”
S-U-R-V-I-V-O-R – I am a survivor!
I can deal with any fate and be my own reviver!
When the venture’s over I’ll be stronger, braver, wiser:
S-U-R-V-I-V-O-R – I am a survivor!
(alternate version, line two: “I can camp and find my food and be my own provider!”)
To “The Twelve Days of Christmas”
On the twelfth day in Paradise my true love gave to me
12 cell phone minutes
11 bags of Doritos
10 ice cold sodas
9 wood stick matches
8 cheesy pizzas
7 trusty tribemates
6 fluffy pillows
5 juicy steaks
4 ice cream cones
3 best friends
2 comfy blankets
And the Idol for Immunity!
Parody of “The Cremation of Sam McGee”
There’ve been strange things done since Survivor One
By the folks who hope to win;
Both workers and slugs have eater bugs,
And everyone’s grown thin
But dry or wet, and freeze or sweat,
And mosquito-pocked my skin,
I’ll still have fun, and when it’s done –
I’ll be the one to win!